Someone told me to do this

Things I am afraid to tell you


Jess Constable has started something. A naked movement amongst bloggers via her Things I’m Afraid To Tell You post that prompted Meg Biram to invite a follow-up bunch to also be less afraid and share their such lists.

I’m part of the follow-up bunch.

Welcome To My List

When I meet people for the first time I assume, once they leave our meeting, they get busy setting up meetings to work out how to tell me they don’t want to meet me again.

When I meet with people I’ve met before I assume they have been too busy to work out how to tell me they don’t want to meet me again, but it’s coming.

Unless I have told you that, and you assure me no meetings are taking place, I will never believe you are not planning a meeting.

Why I think no-one has anything else to do but meet about not wanting to meet with me I have no idea. But I know you are.

My husband is the only person, other than my kids, whom I truly love. All my eggs are in his basket. I hope he doesn’t drop it.

I take Words With Friends far too seriously.

I have a list. It’s got people on it. They don’t get crossed off until I have beaten them at whatever game I think we’re playing. Most of the people on the list don’t even know we’re playing. That doesn’t stop me. It should.

I wish the day would come when I don’t feel like I have to prove myself. It’s very tiring.

My dream is to open a shop that sells pretty things in a town populated with 18 people, but visitors are allowed, for a short while.

I like to sleep more than I like to be with people.

I don’t love parties.

I love dinner dates with only one other.

I don’t suffer fools, in a mean way.

I wish I was more Southern and knew how to say mean things with a smile.

I wish I didn’t want to say so many mean things.

I wish I was a style/design type with a blog.

I wish I didn’t wish for so many things and instead appreciated all that I have, with a smile, without a list, in a town with 18 people, behind the counter of my shop, which sells pretty things that you’ll also find on my style/design blog that I have updated after a good night’s sleep and am now looking forward to a dinner date with just you; and all the while I will be holding my husband’s hand so I can do this.

P.S. If there are no comments on this post it is because everyone is in a meeting. If there are comments it’s only because their meetings haven’t started yet.

List of participating bloggers for Wave No.2

Cassie: Coco + Kelley / Christine: Court & Hudson / Caitlin: Sacramento Street / Roxy: My Cup of Te / Crystal: Blog/ Meg: MIMI+MEG / Ashlina: The Decorista / Katie: Modern Eve / Erin: Apartment 34 / Erica: Design Blahg / Victoria: Vmac & Cheese / Christine: Miles to Style / Franki: Life in a Venti Cup  / Sue: The Zhush / Erika: Radiant Republic/ Gabrielle: Savvy Home / Monika: The Doctor’s Closet / Naomi: Design Manifest /Tobe: Because It’s Awesome / Becca:{extra}ordinary wonders / Lynzy: Sparkling Footsteps / Hitha: Hitha On The Go / Sarah: Note To Self / Liz: So Much To Smile About / Sarah: Blogstar / Alissa: The Goods Design / Jessie: Style & Pepper / Erika: Small Shop Studio  / AV: Long Distance Loving / Maggie: Maggie Rose Blog / Nicole: The City Girl In Me / Priscilla: The Best Laid Plans / Jen: Concrete Jungle DC / Janelle: Food Fashion Fitness / Natalie: East Coast Chic

Thanks again to Jess for her initial post, and to Ez for starting the movement.


39 Responses to Someone told me to do this

  1. Leslie says:

    This is fascinating and open and brave. I feel the same about parties and sleeping. :-)

  2. petya says:

    i think it’s sweet and brave to admit to being ambitious and feeling jealous. now we just need to replace these words with their more positive equivalents and stop feeling guilty. call yourself driven and competitive, the way dudes do, and it’s all good.

  3. Caroline says:

    Loved this, Sarah. I think this is such a compassionate movement and definitely helps me to feel less alone in my own insecurities! This was beautiful, Thank you for sharing this with us.

    p.s. I’m Southern and it’s amazing how we ARE able to do that sometimes–especially at parties that we hate! 😉

  4. I find this really interesting, because I don’t think there is anything on this list that sounds scary to admit to. It’s a sweet list! Thank you for sharing it.

    I’ve never thought of myself as particularly brave, but I can’t think of anything about myself that I couldn’t blog about. I’m protective of other people’s privacy (like my kids’ and my husband’s), but I just don’t think there is anything that interesting about me worth hiding.

    • Sarah says:

      Oh, that was scary for me! I’m a big admirer of people like you who own aren’t afraid of what others might think. Maybe it comes with blogging for a number of years? Was it harder in the beginning?

      • I don’t know if it’s a matter of not being afraid of what other people think. (There are certainly people in this world I don’t want to disappoint.) But I find most controversy a distraction from real issues, so things about myself that aren’t relevant don’t make their way into my blog or my business if I can help it.

        For instance, I know I’ve taught violin students for whom my atheism could be an issue, but it had no bearing on how well I might be able to teach them, so I avoided the topic because it wasn’t useful. If I were asked to teach a Sunday school class, then I would speak up about my beliefs (or lack of them) right away because it that case it would matter. So there are things I haven’t discussed on my blog not out of some level of fear, but because they don’t help the point at hand.

        For the most part, anyone can ask me anything and as long as there is a useful reason for my answer I don’t have a problem giving one (assuming, of course, it doesn’t infringe on someone else’s privacy in the bargain).

  5. I love this, Sarah. I feel the same way about parties and sleeping, except that I feel dinner dates with one are much scarier than dinner dates with many. It’s fascinating to see insecurities from someone that I feel everyone wants to have meetings with! :)

    • Sarah says:

      I knew I liked you for a good reason – and it’s not because you are so clever with all that you do while rocking those specs like no-one else!

  6. Laura Rossi says:

    Great post! Thanks for opening up!

  7. I am not in a meeting nor am I on my way to one. I may start one instead, but the only thing on the agenda would be to list all the great qualities of Sarah B.

    You see, that meeting would have to take place in a very large field and would require tents and food to host the crowds. It would take a few days to cover that single list item, but oh what fun that would be!

    There are so many of us who feel grateful to have met you. So many who also feel the same after meeting new people. I always second guess what I may have said or how I was perceived by the crowd. I tend to get so darn tongue tied!! UGH – if only second impressions were allowed first.

    This series seems to be so cleansing and freeing. Thank you for sharing!


    • Sarah says:

      Thank you Jill, you are the sweetest! I love your enthusiasm and gift for encouragement. I wish you lived around the corner so I could get a little of you in person more often :)

      • Melanie says:

        I second what Jill said. And I want to see both of you guys more often, but not at “meetings” because that word sounds like boring work, and our “meetings” would be fun and awesome. We should come up with a new word for meetings. “I can’t come to your boring meeting today, because I’m going to an awesomeing with SBB.”

        I’m Southern and here’s a little trick for you. Before you say the mean thing, just preface it with, “Bless her heart.” “Bless her heart, that girl just does NOT know how to put together an outfit to save her poor daddy’s life.” Not that I’m ever one to talk about anyone’s outfits, since mine usually are built on faded black yoga pants or pajama bottoms.

        Oh yeah, I don’t like parties either. I like to hang out with one other person, fewer than five at most. I hate small talk, it’s boring and draining. I’d much rather talk about everything I’m afraid to tell you than suffer the chit chat any time. :)

        LOVE you guys. xo

        • Sarah says:

          My life has just changed! Bless her heart, she is such a bitch! Or, Bless or heart, she just stole my idea and passed it off as her own! How clever. Like a get out of jail free card.

          Can’t wait to next awesome with you, too :)

  8. sheri says:

    Ummm – what Jill said? Like, exactly? Wow Sarah – I had no idea and would have never guessed (but I guess you can relate to why I thought my inclusion on the “Sunday Supper” list was a mistake? :)I don’t know that I am ready enough or brave enough to participate, which only makes me admire those of you who DO even more (than I already DO!) xo

    • Sarah says:

      I can relate, without a doubt! But like everyone who knows you, I can’t believe you think like that. And then I think about myself and know that you can :)

  9. Umm I’m terrible at saying mean things with a smile. They always still sound mean.

    Loved your list. Thanks for cracking me up!

  10. Leslie says:

    So glad you did this! I will this week too. Can you participate if you are not on the list? I’m in Jill’s meeting, the one about how great you are. Thank you for sharing Sarah, it is so scary to say what we think in our head but never say out loud, much less publish online. I’ve got confessions that would make you turn and run in the other direction, and isn’t that what we are all afraid of? Being judged, not having friends? Honestly, I will write my own list, but I’m afraid I actually can’t put everything on it. I might tell you in person though. Privately. In a one on one dinner with you. xo

    • Sarah says:

      Thank you! I think everyone can participate, for sure. And I would love to have that dinner with you, and I bet there is little you could say that would have me running in another direction. We are harder on ourselves than we ever would be with others. xx

  11. Sandra says:

    I will resurrect my post as well – so many things that I feel quite vulnerable about. And fearful of being judged about too of course. You know, people would say, “hey, I thought she was THIS but she’s really THAT so forget about reading her blog or getting to know her better…”.

    • Sarah says:

      From what I ‘ve seen of those who have gone before us, I think it’s worked in their favor. The thing we may overlook too often is that our private selves, the selves we think we keep hidden, are in fact quite obvious to those who read us/know us. By calling those selves out, all we are doing is letting go of pretending we’re not those selves. And that can only help towards preventing cancer and other such benefits. I’ll let you know how that goes for me!

  12. Design Blahg says:

    I would like to set-up a meeting with you to discuss all the OTHER people that I would never like to have meetings with, cool? Also, I had to give up words with friends when I realized that I was cheating on every single game I was playing (and was still mostly losing :)

    Two snaps up for your list!

  13. jodi says:

    Oh Sarah, what a great list! After having spent the weekend with my mother-in-law, I too wish I didn’t always want to say so many mean things. And I’m not a fan of parties either. And I’m not a fan of fools. And I wish I didn’t always feel I have to prove myself. And I can’t believe I just plagiarized your list!

  14. Maggie says:

    Seriously, best list I’ve read so far. Thank you for your honesty!

  15. Lennie says:

    :) you just made me laugh so hard while reading the closing paragraph… i’ve already read about 5 follow up posts of this movement and yours was the most original one! totally get the whole sleeping thing and the husband crazy love issue. however, a word of advice (which i also try to live by and fail everytime)- there are a few good people out there… who only mean well… really, they are out there…just hard to find them.

    wishing you all the best. i guess the lesson of it all is to be able to laugh at everything that happens to you.. even if it means being sarcastic- thats’s how smart people laugh…

  16. Laura Mayes says:

    I’m having a meeting to figure out what kind of game we’re playing on your list and/or if I’ve already been crossed off and/or if it’s a good thing to be crossed off and/or a bad thing. Also, l hope for your sake, that the game we’re playing is Words With Friends and/or Draw Something because you will kick my ass at both/each.

  17. Jen says:

    HA!! Oh my gosh, I thought I was the only one who knew that people secretly plotted ways not to ever have to deal with me again.

    And I don’t suffer fools gladly either. Actually, I have a pretty bad reputation for it in certain circles—the fools circle. Bam!

  18. Marissa says:

    My first item on my list would be that my list is so long and that ideally I’d want to share it anonymously. But, that would be missing the point, and that would make me one of those fools that would have to be suffered. Isn’t that what we all fear the most?

  19. Wait. We just had a “meeting” albeit one with icy beer and tequila shots where we talked about things other than business transpiring while the palm trees blew in the Miami wind. I promise, I’m not conspiring to not meet you again. Because by meeting I mean I just met you, and you me. As to be introduced. So, now we cannot not meet again, right? Hold on, I think I just confused myself…

    And BTW, I loooooove sleep waaaay more than just about anything else except maybe my husband and my girls.

    Lovely list. I’m actually joining this party myself for round #3!!! Such great company to join.

    • Sarah says:

      Kate, ours wasn’t a meeting but a Meeting! That’s so not the same thing. Have you registered with Blogstar yet? Please do because I’ll be dipping into the register next week to plan lots of fab new opportunities. Can’t wait to Meet! again when I come to SF.

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